Sunday, December 16, 2012

Cut and Run...

I went out with the first guy (guy #1) a little over a week ago.  He has called daily, asking when we can go out again since.  We've now gone out three times.

The second guy (guy #2) contacted me the day I first met guy #1.  We have chatted online or talked on the phone almost every day since.  We met on Thursday.  He wants to go out again, but I've been putting him off.

Considering how we met,  I feel as though I'm in the "getting to know" stage, and am not ready to jump into a relationship with either.  Both of them seem to act as though they expect that we're in an exclusive relationship together already, calling daily, texting often and expecting to have top priority on any free time that I might have.

Here's the thing: I've been single for a long time.  I've lived alone for a long time.  While I do want somebody in my life, I cherish my alone time.   I'm "on" all day at work.   I juggle phone calls, emails, texts and IMs, all the while doing my best to act professional, use tact and put my best foot forward.  At the end of the day, I want to crash on the couch in my flannel pjs and confine my social responsibilities to not drooling while within the presence of other human beings.

That, added to my whole proclivity to being shy,  makes the act of going through the motions to get to know these guys a very stressful thing.

I don't like dating.  I love being in a relationship, after I get past the hard part and get to that level of comfort with a guy; but I hate dating.  Some people think it's exciting - I think it's hell.  So, I've been battling my urge to cut and run from these guys.  I've been telling myself that they're good guys, and that I should give them a chance.  Once I get to know them better, I'll know what I want, and if I want to move forward to a relationship with one, it won't be so hard.

Friday night, my phone rang at 7:38 again.  Guy #1 is a man of habit, and always seems to call between 7:45-8:00pm every day.  He wanted to go out on Saturday when I really just needed a day to be on my own.  So, we chatted some more, and he told me more about his job, his life, his hobbies... all of which are very academic, very functional, very routine and very highly scheduled.  Throughout the conversation  I kept coming back to a worrisome idea...   Oh My God, I'm dating Sheldon Cooper.

Or, I guess now I should say I was.  I met him for lunch today, and ended our date by telling him that I didn't think we'd see each other anymore.  It seems I've learned something new about myself - apparently, I crave spontaneity and humour in my relationships.


  1. It's good to figure stuff out, particularly about ourselves.

  2. Dating is hell. A necessary hell, but hell nonetheless. My rule is trust your gut. It always knows the right thing to do. And Guy#1 sounds WAY TOO NEEDY.