The big let down

Last year, sometime in late October/early November, I was having a really slow day. I was bored out of my skull and needed something to do. While I was grocery shopping, I decided to pick up a book. There wasn't much of a selection, but for some reason I kept coming back to this one about vampires.

I hate vampires.

I'm really not a fan of reading about anything from the supernatural category, actually. I rarely get past the first chapter in any story about magic, the supernatural or the future.

Except Harry Potter. Harry Potter rocked.

But, I needed something to read and desperate times called for desperate measures. I decided to go with the vampires. I started reading it shortly after lunch and finished it the next afternoon. Then, I did something I've very rarely done - I flipped back to the first page of the book and read it again. (I often reread books... I just usually wait a few years between readings.)

After I finished it the second time, I fired off an email to my friend Kat, and told her that I'd have a copy in the mail for her soon... please have finished reading it by the next week. Because Holy Crap the movie would be out then!

Here's where I really embarrass myself: Then I ordered the full series from Amazon and read the first one Again!

The next week, Kat and I met at the theater in Calgary. I'd watched the trailer multiple times, and was crazy-excited to see this movie. Have I mentioned how awesome Kat is? Nobody humours my craziness like she does. First, she read the book, because I told her to. Then, she worked until 8:00 the night of, and drove across town - no hop, skip and a jump in Calgary - to see the late show because I wanted to see the movie as soon as possible. Finally, though, it was time. We bought our tickets, grabbed our seats and settled in.

Fifteen minutes in, I leaned over and said "This is really bad".

It was Epically bad.

It was so cheesy that the audience broke out in spontaneous laughter multiple times. Junior high students can produce better special effects than what was in that movie. And, Oh My God, the acting was bad. Most of all, the guy who played the lead - the guy who is supposed to be sexy and dangerous and, and, and.... well, he had a perpetual look on his face as though somebody had just farted at a funeral.

When it ended, Kat and I barely made it to the car before we cracked into hilarity. We belly laughed for almost an hour before we even left the parking lot.

It ruined the book for me. I know this because, yes, I read it again. I couldn't get the funeral fart guy out of my head and conjure up the guy I'd read about the first three times. Instead of romance and danger, I was now picturing the gawd awful cinematography from the movie. It was a disaster. A. Huge. Letdown.

So... the movie from the next book in the series opens up today. I'll going to see it.

I'm actually looking forward to it; but this time, I'll know what I'm in for. I'll go with my expectations at the lowest of low. I'll maybe hope to get a glimmer of the werewolf's newly developed six pack. What I do know, though, without a doubt - we will laugh our asses off.