Last spring for a few months, there was a possibility of their being a guy. I used to know him, way back when, and we lost touch when he changed jobs. Then we reconnected through Facebook. I don't know that I ever had strong feelings for him, but he's the exact kind of guy I want to be with. Emotionally strong, communicative, funny and tall being among some of his better qualities. He lives in another city, but we talked a lot and got together a few times. I thought things were going somewhere. Then he told me that he's still in love with is ex, who he'd broken up with a few years ago, and he was pretty sure he was meant to stay single forever.
I don't know that I bought that. I accepted that I wasn't the girl he was looking for at the time, but secretly told myself that we'd stay in touch in case the time came that he changed his mind. Then, a week or so ago he changed his relationship status on Facebook and suddenly he's not single anymore. Even worse, most of his status updates since have either been about being with his girl or wanting to be with his girl. I felt like each of those updates was a renewal of the rejection.
So, I did what any other sane girl would do in my situation and I signed up on a dating website.
At first I connected with a guy who seemed to have promise. He's good looking and tall. He was nice enough but I eventually noticed that he lacked in the IQ department to the point of distraction. When he told me he used to "leave" in Calgary, but has "leaved" in Edmonton for a while now, I decided to cut my losses. As bad as my spelling and grammar may be, that made my skin crawl.
Then I responded to a message I got from a guy that seemed more likely to have intelligence. His profile said he was an architect. At first, I didn't notice how brief and superficial he seemed, but I eventually caught on. When I asked about his job, he told me simply: "I love my profession". When I asked him about his hobbies and what he does for fun, he said "I like sports". I felt no guilt in moving on from him.
Yesterday I got a message from somebody that said I look grumpy in my pictures, but he likes the energy in my profile so he's going to give me a chance. (For the record, I looked at the three photos I had posted - I had open mouthed, showyourteeth smiles in two of them and was grinning in the other.) Then in his next sentence he said I am pretty now but I'd be hot if I lost 30 pounds. I'm sure you'll be shocked to know that I chose not to respond to him.
It hasn't been all bad, though. Saturday, I got a message from a nice guy. He's a little older than me, but it seemed as though we had enough in common to give it a shot. I responded to his message, and right away he wrote again. We ended up writing back and forth almost every hour all day. There was a message in my mailbox from him late at night when I went to bed, and another one in the morning when I got up. We wrote back and forth a few more times in the morning, until he suddenly went quiet for the rest of the day. I learned later on that night that he'd been travelling, and that he'd flown out east to visit his family. He'll be away until a few days after I leave for Italy, so we won't get to meet in person until November.
In the meantime, we'll keep in touch through email and the phone. I'm not going to get my hopes up before I meet him in the flesh, but it'll be nice to wonder what if in the meantime.
Seeing the Light
6 hours ago