Asparagus?!? Really???

Cotton has been a big worry for a while now. He's been in a constant state of terror for about a couple of weeks, and I can't figure out what he's afraid of. This isn't new for him, it's just the worst that it's been in a really long time. Living with him when he gets like this is like living with a colicky baby; except that I have no guarantee that he'll grow out of it some day.

He shakes constantly, and uncontrollably. So much so that the chair vibrates when he sits on my lap. He also pants a lot, and very loudly. There's no question that he's very upset. The problem is that I can't figure out the cause.

I truly have been questioning his quality of life, and wondering if allowing him to live like this is cruel. More than once, I've tried to start preparing myself to make the most difficult decision of all. Other times, I can't help but to become angry with him, thinking it's just dramatics on his part and wanting him to suck it up. Then reality hits, and I remember that there's no benefit to him to be acting like this.

DAP isn't working anymore, which is disappointing. I'd thought that we finally found something that would help him for life. I know I need to bring him to the vet, and start tying new meds to help him mellow out, but my regular vet isn't around. I think, in this case, it's worth it to wait until somebody who knows him - who knows (and supports) my aversion to putting them through unnecessary tests or adding unnecessary chemicals to their bodies - is around. I'm hoping to get him in sometime next week.

In the meantime, I'll try just about anything to get the dude to calm down. I spent most of the morning yesterday just walking around with him in my arms, trying to convince him that it's OK. Really - it is.

He didn't believe me.

By then, I'd tried just about anything. I stayed in bed a few hours longer than I wanted to, because that's the only place that he's calm - and he won't stay there unless I'm in bed with him. I tried taking him outside with me, running him through commands, playing games and I even tried ignoring his behaviour. At one point, I had to lock myself in a room without him because if I didn't, I was sure I was going to lose it.

When I came out of the room, I picked him up and preceded to reheat myself some lunch. Keep in mind that Cotton is not a dog that cares about food. He cares even less about food when he's stressed; and - believe me - he's been stressed lately. I've eaten many meals with Cotton on one side of my lap and my dinner plate on the other. So, you can imagine my surprise when the lil'dude looked over and let me know that he wanted some of my lunch.

It was asparagus filled ravioli that I'd tossed in olive oil and fresh lemon juice. I couldn't imagine that he'd like it, but I was willing to try anything by then. So, I gave him a taste; and he loved it! He loved it so much, he didn't wait for me to give him another piece; but tried to dive into my plate instead. I held him back, but ended up giving him small pieces of it until the remainder of my lunch was gone. (There were only a few raviolis left by then.)

Amazingly, after he'd had the ravioli, he was calm.... for a while. But when I got up and started to move around again, he started to stress out some more. So, I went digging into the fridge, looking for a treat that would help him.

Cheese? No.
Salami? Don't think so.
Bread? no
Fried egg? nope.

I didn't have any other cold pasta, but I did have some left over baked asparagus. I tried giving him a piece, and he loved it. So, I brought a small bowl of it with me to my office. When Cotton followed me in, all stressy and panting, I picked him up and gave him a piece of asparagus. He ate it, and then a few more. Then he settled in. When I moved to another room again (which I do often - I rarely stay in one place for long) I brought my asparagus with me. Each time that I moved, Cotton got all stressy again. Each time that I moved, I gave him some asparagus, and he'd eventually calm down. It got to the point that I'd get up and he'd follow me, looking for his treat. By the end of the day, he was looking for his asparagus before he started to stress out.

This isn't a permanent solution to the problem, but - for now - it's helping to break the vicious cycle of terror. For now, Cotton has a new treat that he loves more than he is afraid of *whatever* it is that he's afraid of. Maybe tomorrow the asparagus won't work anymore, and he'll be back into panic mode. Or, maybe - hopefully - tomorrow he'll still be following me around, hoping for another bite of asparagus.

Gotta go shopping for asparagus tonight. Lil'dude has him some expensive tastes.