The first one, I can understand. The second question involves a word that I'd never heard of until a few months ago.
Albumin, as I understand it, is the protein in your blood. Way back when my health issues began, blood tests showed that my albumin was quite low; but the doctors weren't overly concerned. I was very anemic at the time, and low albumin isn't uncommon with anemia. However, as time went on and I didn't get better, my dad (a retired radiologist) zoned in on the albumin level. He always wants to know what it is.
So, the last time I was at the doctor's office, I told him my dad wanted to know my albumin level. The Dr thought that was a good idea, and sent me off to the lab to have it tested.
It turns out that my albumin is lower than my iron.
And this is the part of the blog where I over share.
As a result, I'm being sent for more lab tests. Low albumin sometimes happen when a person's kidneys leak it into their urine instead of saving it for the blood stream. The way to test for that is to look for high protein in the urine, and apparently it's normal for protein levels to vary throughout the day; so I have to collect my pee for 24 hours.
As if that wasn't fun enough, this is what they gave me to do it with:
I added a pop can to the picture so that you can see how obscenely large the jug really is.Also, the jug is empty. That's sunlight on the outside that made the line, not anything on the inside.
Because that would be gross.
Obviously, that jug doesn't fit into the toilet so that a female can hold it below while she pees. The tech suggested that I hold it in place while standing and let 'er flow. Honestly, I really don't think that my shy bladder could handle that. I've been training it for at least 35 of my 37 years to wait until I'm sitting in the peeing position before letting go, and I don't plan to start standing now.
Any blog worth its salt must have at least one post with the words "my pee" and "urine" in it!
ReplyDeleteI guess the bathtub might be a good place? I sympathize - I know I'd have trouble convincing my bladder to let go anywhere indoors other than the usual designated receptacle.
ReplyDeleteAck! They didn't give you the plastic hat? How bout a clean/boiled yogurt container?
ReplyDeleteThose jugs are huge! I hated lugging them to the lab when patients brought them in....although pee is much more preferable to um...other samples...shudder.
Moosepants
I hate the jug too. I brought mine in inside of the paper bag that they supplied, a plastic bag of my own and then my knapsack. Still... not impressed.
ReplyDeleteThen I thanked the good Lord when I could start using the toilet again.
I hear rumours that the *other* bathroom samples are provided in empty paint cans. My friend told me that they sometimes transfer them from one lab to another using taxis. She was telling me a story about a taxi driver who hit a rather large bump en route. Apparently the contents of the cans had been stewing for a while, building up a fair amount of gas and pressure and when he hit the bump the can exploded. Needless to say, the taxi driver wasn't a happy camper.
"and I don't plan to start standing now." And I don't blame you one bit.
ReplyDeleteSaying unisex with a straight face would be hard for me to pull off.
ReplyDelete