On the flip side, the new boss has been cautioning me not to over do it. She doesn't want me going into the operating room already run down, and has been reminding me that I have to tell her if I reach a point that it's too much. I decided last night that I'd tell her today I'd reached that point. (And I did.) She's being completely reasonable about it, and we're scaling back until after my surgery.
I think my timing was perfect, because I forgot my purse - something I never do - at home this morning. After work, I drove home to get it, and then turned around and went to the restaurant for dinner with my parents. We had a really nice dinner, after which I got up and drove home. Without my purse.
Surgery is coming up, in about a month. Here's the thing. There are lots of ways they can do it, and my Dr gave me his recommendations, but I went home to research on Dr Internet to make my final decision.
Laparoscopically or open? Take the cervix or leave it? The doctor wants to do an open surgery (where he cuts an opening, pokes around to have a looksee and cuts things out. He also wants to remove my cervix because it's part of the uterus, and since there are problems with my uterus, there could still be problems if he leaves it behind. (Plus, he says the surgery to remove a cervix that doesn't have a uterus attached is a lot harder, and likely to have more complications.)
I don't know why, but I assumed that he'd leave it behind, so this took some research. I spent quite a bit of time on Dr Internet to check it out.
According to Dr Internet, removing the cervix can lead to prolapse (incontinence), or damage to the bladder (incontinence). Plus, the cervix is one of the sources for the Big Oprah. The good kind.
Forget worries about peeing myself for the rest of my life - I'm worried about sex. Granted, it's been a while since there's been a cowboy in my life, but when I finally do get back on the saddle, this chick wants the full YeeHaw.
So, I asked the Dr to confirm or deny what I'd found. He didn't agree about either the prolapse or damaged bladder concerns, and he absolutely disagreed with the bit about the Big Oprah. He said that only happens from external... encouragement, and it won't change.
I called Bullshit right then and there. I told him that if he thinks that, I don't know if he's the guy to be chopping out my bits. I said that external will do in a pinch, but the really good ones come from deep down inside. And if he cut out the part that makes that happen, I was going to be some seriously pissed off.
His response to that was that the really really good ones come from the tips of our toes, and he won't be touching my feet. He kind of had a point.
(I ended up having a couple of very frank decisions with some friends who have had the same surgery, and they helped me make up my mind.)
And thus endith the portion of the blog for which I feel I should apologize.
I left his office with a lot on my mind. Some of which was:
- I wish the walls in Dr's offices weren't so thin.
- This is the first time I've ever wished I had a female doctor instead of a male.
- I should really find a doctor that isn't my dad's golfing buddy.